Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of homes. Isaiah 58:12 (NLT)
This true story comes from Heather from the United Kingdom. After suffering severe childhood trauma, Heather shares her story of how God led her to forgive her mother and how their relationship was restored.
For fifty-five years, I didn’t have any relationship with my Mum. She abused me physically, emotionally and mentally throughout my childhood. But this wasn’t the only source of trauma. My eldest brother sexually abused my sister and me for years. Mum turned a blind eye to what our brother did to us. She must have known the truth deep down, but she refused to believe it and wouldn’t ever let us talk about it.
I’ve been told by a therapist that I’m a walking miracle. The NHS (National Health Service) have said they don’t meet many people like me. Most are usually in a psychiatric hospital, prison or dead! After working with me to process the traumas from my childhood, the NHS also acknowledged that it was truly God who saved my life!
But the most amazing miracle in my life happened just over a year ago. There have been many miracles along the way, but this was the most incredible so far.
This miracle began after my 88-year-old Mum broke her arm in two places. At that time, God told me to treat her like Jesus would. So, without giving it a second thought, I decided to bring her home to live with my husband and me. We ended up looking after her for five weeks as she couldn’t cope on her own. Not only did she have bad arthritis in her feet, she now had her arm in plaster.
Despite everything, I didn’t hate my Mum. There just was no bonding at all between us. I said to God, ‘You are going to have to help me love her because I feel nothing for her! I’m totally numb inside. Help me, please!’
While Mum was living with us, I discovered while showering her that she obviously wasn’t looking after herself. I took her to a doctor who ordered some tests at the hospital. She was diagnosed with Leukaemia, which came as a shock.
Up until that point, my eldest brother had managed everything to do with Mum’s financial affairs. We discovered that he had been very dishonest with her money. My brother told me not to ask our Mum about it, but I sensed God prompting me that I must. I proceeded to have a difficult conversation with Mum. She was horrified about my brother’s lies! For years, Mum had put him on a pedestal. He had always been her favourite.
Over the next thirteen months, my brother sent numerous poisonous letters to both Mum and me, accusing and blaming me for everything.
After the truth had come out about the money situation, it was time to tell Mum some of the awful truths about what I’d suffered at the hands of my brother. I was so worried that it would finish her off as it’s pretty shocking news to hear when you are 88 years old!
But I knew God was calling me to tell her the truth. So, I did it afraid! Mum sat there and listened to me for the first time in my life. Afterwards, we cried together and hugged each other. From this point onwards, we became honest and upfront with each other like we never had before!
Our conversation broke the massive strongholds of fear, rejection and shame over my life. All at once, like a pack of cards, they came tumbling down!
God did a miracle that day. What I thought would be the most challenging thing to do, turned out to be easy and was actually a pleasure.
God has also been helping me deal with the abuse from my brother, and I have forgiven him too.
Mum still has Leukaemia today, but it is slow growing and she doesn't want any treatment (she says she's got enough other medical problems to cope with!). She is back in her home and living independently now.
I can truly say now that I love my Mum. I have totally forgiven her for what she did to me as a child. All my life I have longed for a real mum. God has given me just that. He has restored our relationship.
To God be all glory!
I’ve been told by a therapist that I’m a walking miracle. The NHS (National Health Service) have said they don’t meet many people like me. Most are usually in a psychiatric hospital, prison or dead! After working with me to process the traumas from my childhood, the NHS also acknowledged that it was truly God who saved my life!
But the most amazing miracle in my life happened just over a year ago. There have been many miracles along the way, but this was the most incredible so far.
This miracle began after my 88-year-old Mum broke her arm in two places. At that time, God told me to treat her like Jesus would. So, without giving it a second thought, I decided to bring her home to live with my husband and me. We ended up looking after her for five weeks as she couldn’t cope on her own. Not only did she have bad arthritis in her feet, she now had her arm in plaster.
Despite everything, I didn’t hate my Mum. There just was no bonding at all between us. I said to God, ‘You are going to have to help me love her because I feel nothing for her! I’m totally numb inside. Help me, please!’
While Mum was living with us, I discovered while showering her that she obviously wasn’t looking after herself. I took her to a doctor who ordered some tests at the hospital. She was diagnosed with Leukaemia, which came as a shock.
Up until that point, my eldest brother had managed everything to do with Mum’s financial affairs. We discovered that he had been very dishonest with her money. My brother told me not to ask our Mum about it, but I sensed God prompting me that I must. I proceeded to have a difficult conversation with Mum. She was horrified about my brother’s lies! For years, Mum had put him on a pedestal. He had always been her favourite.
Over the next thirteen months, my brother sent numerous poisonous letters to both Mum and me, accusing and blaming me for everything.
After the truth had come out about the money situation, it was time to tell Mum some of the awful truths about what I’d suffered at the hands of my brother. I was so worried that it would finish her off as it’s pretty shocking news to hear when you are 88 years old!
But I knew God was calling me to tell her the truth. So, I did it afraid! Mum sat there and listened to me for the first time in my life. Afterwards, we cried together and hugged each other. From this point onwards, we became honest and upfront with each other like we never had before!
Our conversation broke the massive strongholds of fear, rejection and shame over my life. All at once, like a pack of cards, they came tumbling down!
God did a miracle that day. What I thought would be the most challenging thing to do, turned out to be easy and was actually a pleasure.
God has also been helping me deal with the abuse from my brother, and I have forgiven him too.
Mum still has Leukaemia today, but it is slow growing and she doesn't want any treatment (she says she's got enough other medical problems to cope with!). She is back in her home and living independently now.
I can truly say now that I love my Mum. I have totally forgiven her for what she did to me as a child. All my life I have longed for a real mum. God has given me just that. He has restored our relationship.
To God be all glory!
Heather (United Kingdom)
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